PsiPog.net

I've been doing a lot of digging lately, emotionally. "Spiritually", I guess you could say. Looking at my history, looking at my purpose in life, and the big picture. Looking at why I work on PsiPog, and what my goals are. Looking at what makes me happy, and what makes me excited. Why I'm here on this earth. What I believe. And what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

At first, when I was a teenager, I believed it was my job to bridge the gap between science and spirituallity. Psionics and psychic abilities have been dominated by religious thinking, and it was the first thing that really blew my mind. So I figured that's where I'd go. I enjoy psychic abilities, and I like the challenge they provide.

But lately, PsiPog and psionics hasn't been very fulfilling to me. It's really bothered me. PsiPog was my vision when I was 16 years old... a vision of an open community of people intelligently learning psionics, in a fun way. The science of psionics is pretty boring... and the spirituallity of it is really fluffy and annoying. So I really like this approach of being open-minded and scientific, and FUN, towards psionics.

It worked out great, and I love the growth I've witnessed with PsiPog. I'm glad that I've mostly fulfilled my vision of what I wanted to do these past years. But at the same time, I do not feel that great about the entire experience. And the direction that PsiPog is headed doesn't make me feel very motivated either.

Psionics is great. When I started, I was mostly looking to "prove" it. Well, the good news is that I have proven it - to myself at least. I now know that psionics is real, without any real doubt. So where do I go next? Teach psionics, I suppose? But even then... I've only trained myself to the point of being capable of proving it to myself. My goals were never really to TEACH people how to do psionics. My goals were very proof-orientated.

Or maybe I can prove psionics to the world? That really doesn't interest me at all. In fact, it makes me feel sick, and frustrated. A path that makes me feel sick and frustrated can't be a good sign .

These are the questions I've been wrestling with the past month or two.

Then I thought: why psionics? Maybe I should do something else? I love politics... perhaps I should forget about psionics, and just do political stuff. That feels like it would be very exciting... but ultimately, it doesn't really feel like it would be fulfilling either.

And I thought about doing religious things. Being a spiritual leader, or something like that. But that doesn't really ring completely true either. I like helping people, and personal development, and I do have some very effective religious beliefs (at least, I think so ). But that doesn't feel right either.

None of these paths really captured what I felt I should be doing. They had some elements of what I wanted to do... but the ultimate goal was lacking. I remembered my original goal, when I was 16, about bridging the gap between religion and science. And I thought about my entire psionics "career" up until this point. What has consistently interested me? What do I have experience with before I even started with psionics?

Then the answer slowly seeped in. Out of body experiences. OBEs are the only thing I've stayed consistently interested in. When I was young, I was a natural lucid dreamer. My experience with OBEs are what define a lot of my religious beliefs... For example, I believe in life after death, higher intelligence, reincarnation. But why? Faith? No, not at all. These things I've taken from my personal experience with OBEs.

Just recently I started talking to my co-workers about OBEs, and they are facinated by them. Of the 14 or so people in my work section, only one thinks I'm crazy. Others are just really curious. I first feared that only one would think I'm SANE, but luckily it's the opposite .

OBEs are the only thing in psionics where I've felt an extreme amount of confidence. Psi balls are easy, but they are also very subjective. I do believe they're real, and I do believe my instruction for them is solid, but at the same time: who cares? It's just a ball of energy. I don't know... I'm not as blown away by them as I used to be. I don't even shield, honestly. I programmed myself to have natural shields years ago, and have only touched them a few times. Energy manipualtion just doesn't really interest me anymore.

ESP, whether it be RV, TP, empathy, or whatever, is interesting. But it's too subjective for me. I am accurate at clairvoyance and clairaudience. I'm really good at empathy... and I'm not too shabby at telepathy. But those don't really excite me... they are just skills I'm happy to have. I use them, and I might continue to teach some aspects of them, but ultimately - those feel secondary to OBEs.

Psychokinesis does greatly interest me... but I suck at it. I've spent years practicing, and my biggest accomplishment is making a pen twitch. C'mon. Others are way more skilled in PK than I am... I'll let them pioneer the way for that skill. I wish I had more skill in PK, but I don't. Oh well.

OBEs, on the other hand, I am highly skilled in. I love them, and they still blow my mind to this day. I don't get bored, or tired of them. I'm learning a lot, and it's very challenging. I have a lot of lucid dreams as well... and that state of mind is almost my default dreaming state. When I have an OBE, the following day I am just happy no matter what happens. Nothing can touch me. The confidence and awareness of knowing that I am not my body just shatters any wordly problems.

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So, back to the topic. I think my purpose is to be awesome at OBEs. I mean -- totally awesome. Like, capable of inducing OBEs during meditation, at will. Capable of inducing OBEs in the waking state. Capable of shifting my arm (for example), out of body, consciously, while having a conversation with someone. Capable of leaving easily, and perceiving the world accurately, to quickly show proof to skeptics. Capable of teaching people how to have OBEs, and capabale of yanking people out of body if they really need me to. And most importantly, talking to people in person about OBEs. Not just the internet. These are my new goals. This is my purpose.

I don't know if I'll keep PsiPog around. I'm not sure. Perhaps the time will come to pass it along to someone else in the future. The conflict is that I want to address spiritual issues along with OBEs. And PsiPog was founded on leaving the spirituallity out of it. If I do decide to leave or take down PsiPog, then I will most definitly be creating another online organization. Although if I do that, it will probably focus strictly on OBEs, LDs, and spirituallity (with perhaps some starter exercises with the subconscious and ESP in general). I know a lot of my old audience won't like that... but oh well. I know a lot of my old audience will also love it.

This feels right. I haven't thought it out completely... but I have it 80% figured out. The other 20% will solidify the more I think about it. This motivates me, and gets me excited - that's how I know I'm on the right path. Thanks.

~Sean