My name is Sean Connelly, and I've gone by the pseudo-name Peebrain while on PsiPog.net. This blog was a running stream of my thoughts, beliefs, and experiences about PsiPog and psychic abilities in general.
Alrighty, here's the conflict:
There are two models for reality, both which make sense in their own ways. Somehow, I believe both are true, but I'm not sure how that's possible . (1) Reality is inherently subjective, and (2) Reality is inherently objective.
By nature of the claims, they are impossible to test. This leads me to suspect they are the same claim, even though they sound contradictory. So what exactly are these claims, and how do they relate to psionics?
(1) Reality is inherently subjective. This means that it's impossible for you to experience an objective reality, because it doesn't exist. When you look at something "outside" of yourself, you are still looking at a creation of yourself. Basically, you're living in a dream world, where the dream characters try to convince you that the dream world you create is objective (when it really isn't).
(2) Reality is inherently objective. This is the "normal" belief. This model says that there is a reality outside of your mind, and that you can experience this objective reality, and try to figure it out. For example, I believe that plants function outside of my mind, so if I want to learn about plants, I can go up to a plant and poke around inside of it with some scientific tools.
The problem is that both models have evidence. And any evidence you can find for one model, can be re-interpreted through the other model. For example, let's say you are walking down the street, and you find $5 on the ground. In the objective model, that $5 existed outside of yourself, and through some form of coincidence or synchronicity, you came about discovering this $5 on the ground. Sounds normal.
Or, in the subjective reality, you created the $5. Your beliefs about reality allowed for the $5 to exist, and you created this bill based on the rules you have for your reality.
But now you can argue: ok, so reality is subjective. But isn't that statement itself an objective truth about reality, then? If reality was truly subjective, then it would only be subjective when your rules about reality defined it as subjective. Is that confusing? Let's try again: the subjective reality model states that there aren't any fundamental truths - all fundamental truths are beliefs in your reality. However, isn't the statement "there aren't any fundamental truths" then considered a fundamental truth?!
It seems like a loop. It all comes down to answering the question: what are fundamental truths? Do they exist outside of your control, in a reality that you are playing a part in? Or do you create these fundamental truths, and therefore, create your entire experience in your fabricated dream reality? And if you are creating these fundamental truths, wouldn't it be fundamentally true that you create them?
Lots of logical philisophical enigmas.
I think the conflict exists in defining who "you" are. This is how both models can be true at the same time. Here's my conclusion on this conflict (which I've come to realize while writing this post):
Hurray!
I had an OBE this morning. It's really weird how it happens sometimes. A lot of times when I try to have OBEs, I experience synchronicities that help me. This morning, for example, a friend knocked on my door at 6:30am to ask for a shirt. It woke me up at the perfect time, and after giving him a shirt, I decided it would be perfect to try an OBE. I stayed awake for about 5 minutes, checked my e-mail, went to the bathroom, and got a drink of water. Then I went back to bed to meditate.
I did terrible during my meditation, and my mind was constantly wandering. I knew that I wouldn't have an OBE at that rate. So I hit a semi-deep state, and started talking to my subconscious. I sent a strong intent, "Can you please help me have an OBE? I honestly really do want some help. I don't think I can do it on my own this time, and I really want to have one, and I won't freak out if you help me."
Of course I got a reply, "Sure, I can help, no problem", and I replied "Thanks!". But a lot of times when I talk to my subconscious, I'm very skeptical, and a part of me thought, "Sure, he says he'll help, but I'm just psychotic and talking to myself. No one will help." I tried to maintain my meditative state, but my mind wandered way too much, and eventually I passed out.
Surprisingly, I got yanked out. My first memory is literally feeling yanked out and positioned above my bed very quickly. I was a little shocked, but I thought, "OBE! Hell yeah!" and went with it. Then I zipped back to the same orientation as my physical body.
And then, an amazing thing happened. Two pairs of hands grabbed my ankles and wrists. The hands pulled me up and out, towards the center of my room. I was a little shocked by it, but more curious. So I purposely went back to my body, and the hands came back (only this time one pair on my ankles, not my wrists), and pulled me back to the center of the room. While they were pulling me, I reached down and grabbed the hand on my left ankle, and felt it. I shook the hand, and tried to send out a "Whoa cool, thanks!" type of hand shake, however that would feel .
After that, I was teleported to my old backyard in upstate New York (I live in Maryland right now). I was freely flying through the air, and it was amazing. I didn't really control where I was flying, it was very automatic and smooth though. I flew into my old neighbors yard, and flew past them and far into the sky.
While flying into the sky, I was intent on focusing on the detail of the experience, because I was waiting for it to switch into a dream. I knew it was going to happen at some point - usually I don't detect it, and believe I am still out of body. This time I was very intent on figuring out when the switch occurred. While flying into the sky, the detail level dropped, and information started to become garbled. I figured that was the point where I had entered a dream.
At some point, I'm not sure when, I was also in my neighbors back yard petting a huge bird. It was like a huge pelican, and I was petting it's neck. I don't remember if that was before or after the dream-switch.
After it switched into a dream, then it really did turn crazy. I had a false awakening of grabbing my recorder, and recording myself. Then I went into some dream where I was walking down a hallway, and some other weird things. I don't really remember.
Either way, I'm really excited about getting a "helping hand" on getting out! I can't believe when I talk to my subconscious, that it is actually accomplishing something . A lot of times it feels like I'm just talking to myself and getting nothing done - I now know that something is really going on. On top of that, this is my third experience where something else helped me (first was when they talked to me, second was when they pushed my back). I'm glad I'm no longer alone in my adventures, and that I've overcome my fear and limited beliefs enough to experience some help.
~Sean
Both NI and SheepKing posted some new posts on their blogs. You can check out their links from my "Favorite Blogs" list on the right.
These past couple days I've just been thinking. Steve Pavlina's subjective reality idea is hard to swallow... I understand the concept, but putting it into action is really difficult. Perhaps I'll stick with objective reality beliefs for a while. The only benefit I noticed from it is it removes all fear. That's it.
I've also been thinking about memory, and the physical senses. Memory plays such a huge role in defining my current experience in this reality... it's strange that we don't know more about it. I wonder if remembering something is using the same mechanism as RV... I'm sure it's all tied together somehow. With RV, we're just remembering something that we haven't experienced directly. Just a thought.
The physical senses, especially hearing, have intrigued me as well. I can hear things, and I can hear people talk, but I'm trying to figure out how I actually comprehend the information that's being said. How can my mind convert vibrations in the air into an idea in my head that I comprehend? That conversion process is very peculiar.
I haven't had an OBE in a long time. I hope I have one soon... I'll have to start practicing a little harder.
~Sean
In the previous post, Mr. Shields left a comment to inform me that Steve Pavlina linked to PsiPog.net in one of his blogs. This started a chain reaction. First, I went to the site, and read the blog (duh). Then I became excited, because Steve is going to address his ideas on psychic development in the future, and he's a smart guy who will get me thinking. Then a few more things happened that I don't remember, but eventually I came upon his Podcasts. I've listened to some in the past, but he had added a few since my last visit.
So I decided to listen to a few more. Eventually I got down to #013, on Beyond Religion. I knew Steve would have some cool ideas, but I wasn't really expecting anything mind blowing.
I'm not sure if the content of the podcast was actually mind blowing, or just that it was something I needed to hear at that specific moment... but Steve presents an awesome idea, that I've kind of run with. The idea is that we can hold conflicting beliefs in our mind with no problems at all. He uses the analogy of a computer... just like a computer can run different software (Word processor, Spreadsheet, Game, etc), we can run different beliefs in our consciousness.
As a result, we can be Christian, Athiest, Buddhist, Agnostic, and New Age at the same time. I visualize a computer screen... I maximize the Athiest screen when I want to be Athiest... then I can minimize it, and pull up the Christian program, when I want to feel Christian. I can have both pieces of "software" on my "computer", and it doesn't matter if they are in conflict with each other.
This plugs into a crazy story I read in Tony Robbins' book, Awaken the Giant Within (p. 76).
Beliefs are not limited to impacting our emotions or actions. They can literally change our bodies in a matter of moments. I had the pleasure of interviewing Yale professor and best-selling author Dr. Bernie Siegel. As we began to speak about the power of beleif, Bernie shared with me some of the research he'd done on people with Multiple Personality Disorders. Incredibly, the potency of these people's beliefs that they had become a different person resulted in an unquestioned command to their nervous system to make measurable changes in their biochemistry. The results? Their bodies would literally transform before the researchers' eyes and begin to reflect a new identity at a moment's notice. Studies document such remarkable occurrences as patients' eye color actually changing as their personality changes, or physical marks disppearing and reappearing! Even diseases such as diabettes or high blood pressure come and go depending on the person's belief as to which personality they're manifesting.
I started reading a new book on OBEs, titled Out-of-Body Exploring : A Beginner's Approach, by Preston Dennett.
It's pretty interesting! It could be considered a second- or third-generation book on OBEs, because Dennett takes a lot of quotes from Monroe, Peterson, and Bruce's previous books. He gets ideas from the "old classics", and then applies these ideas to his practice, to see what results he gets. It's cool to read about.
It's nice to see another person actually trying what other authors have suggested - and reporting on how well it worked, or what happened. For example, Dennett read that if you call your name out while out of body, that weird things will happen. So he tried it out. In a lot of cases, he tried calling his name out, but nothing happened at all. On one occasion, some crazy stuff did happen. Here's a quote:
Time to experiment! I remember that something amazing is supposed to happen if you say your name while out of body. I say out loud, "My name is Preston Dennett."
There's a shift. Suddenly, I'm outside in a field in the country. It's nighttime and the sky is filled with stars. I examine the night sky and am shocked to see the most dramatic astronomical display I've ever seen. Huge fireballs are crisscrossing the night sky. It's a fantastic meteor shower. The effect is incredible, and I am totally awestruck.
I fly upwards and into the sky. I keep going up until suddenly there's a shift and I'm in another dimension. I'm surrounded by millions of tiny, shiny, golden flakes. It's like being inside a ball filled with gold glitter. It is indecribably beautiful. I feel absolutely fantastic.
There's a shift and I end up in another place, which I can't quite remember. (Marth 19, 1997)
Background info: Focus 15 is a state of consciousness labelled by the Monroe Institute. Robert Monroe was a pioneer in OBEs, and he developed The Gateway Experience (TGE) to help teach others how to achieve weird states of mind, including OBEs. I've been training with TGE for a while now...
So I've been getting a little impatient. I decided to skip over a couple CDs, and just dive right into Focus 15. A few weeks ago I wrote about my new success with Focus 12, that I was happy about. My new experience with Focus 15 is... nothing. The track really assumes you can put yourself into Focus 10 and 12 very quickly (which I sure as hell can't ). So I had to restart the track a few times to allow myself the time to get into Focus 12 correctly... but I still didn't have luck with Focus 15. I suppose I can't expect that much my first try, especially since I skipped over a lot of the training in between. Oh well, just thought I'd update people on my impatientness.
~Sean
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